True story. And what a sad one it is. Roy and I went home a bit before Christmas to visit his family, who have cable. I thought, Awesome! I wonder what's new on the Discovery Channel or Science Fiction, or History. There'll be tons of new shows I've never seen! Hooray for TV! Well, my sister-in-law pretty much had control of the remote since she was the one familiar with all the shows. And, well, let's see...in the space of an hour, I saw a girl jumping up and down and spinning until she puked in front of a live audience (who then ridiculed her, of course), I saw at least 3 guys break into tears, 4 hair-pulling catfights, some girl whining about the size of her ass to a mechanic (who looked mortified), a wrinkly old bat-looking lady with huge waxy lips getting Botox injected into her face while simultaneously telling teenager girls they were all too orange and blemished and fat, and some show that literally recruits 'bad girls' with bitchiness as a requirement, and crams them all into a house together to see which girl in one house was the ultimate baddest, bitchiest slut. I swear to God Almighty, this is what I saw. For all I know, it was probably called House of Bitches: Who's the Biggest Bitch?
I was terrified. Not to mention mortified! No wonder no one in the damn country can manage to properly speak one sentence using the Queen's English! its al a matter of tym b4 seseme st iz cptiond entyrly in l337sp34k! omfg stfu fool!
After that adventure, I am now thoroughly convinced that there's a conspiracy going on to turn us all into beautiful, submissive idiots. A few years ago we wouldn't have stood for half of the things that go on now in America; the illegal legal wiretapping, torture, Fox News...and then along comes Reality TV, and for some reason it's a hit. A chance to plaster your face on millions of televisions nationwide, provided you can be as stupid and entertaining as possible. Suddenly, being slutty, uneducated, mean, verbally and physically abusive, rude, and crazy is in style! We'll subject ourselves to anything just to win that new living room set. We'll sell the dearest secrets of our loved ones and eat fecal matter and raw animal bits for a chance to get that new SUV tricked out with LCD screens in the wheel-wells. We absolutely adore watching people piss themselves in excitement at the chance to be publicly degraded and humiliated by someone well-known. Not that reality TV is fully to blame...but everything eventually plays it's part somewhere along the way.
Wow. It's amazing how quickly I turn a funny story into a rant. Be back next week!
2/19/2008
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